Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
