were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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