Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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