I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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