Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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