Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
