Its about making memories worth repressing
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
