I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
