It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
