Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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