that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
