I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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