i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
