im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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