3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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