Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
