she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
