Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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