She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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