i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
