I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
