East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
