Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
