I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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