She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
