Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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