so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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