one two three fourrrrnication!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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