those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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