She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
