Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found your dick twin last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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