So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
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