did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
