wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
