This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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