just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
