how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
