I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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