I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
