carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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