Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
