....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
