Soap is not a condiment
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
