Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
