oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
