dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
