By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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