My friends, they love my intelligence
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
