community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
