You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
